TWIST OF FATE

CHAPTER 7 - THE FINALE

2009-01-25T22:17:00.032-05:00

Jenny raised her arms in frustration after what Miriam had said, “Give me a break Miri! I had a sex change operation not a lobotomy! I know damn well you don’t ENJOY this shit!”

Miriam was petrified, she had to get rid of Jeremy or it would cost Timmy his life. “Just leave us alone! What I enjoy or don’t is none of your damn business any more, leave us alone!!”

“Miri, I know you’re afraid, and I know you could care less about me but think of Timmy! I can get you out now!”

“Oh God, if only she could leave…” Miriam thought with anguish but she knew that Brian would never stop searching for them until he extracted his revenge.

As DiNozzo approached his house, Brian noticed right away an unfamiliar car. I knew that bitch would let him in! He quickly instructed DiNozzo, “Park in front of the mailbox I won’t be long.”

He jumped out of the car quickly and ordered DiNozzo to wait. Brian knew that Jenny did not own a car, what he didn’t know is that she sometimes borrowed Sammie’s car when running quick errands.

Unable to get Miriam to budge, Jenny lost her patience, “Why are you so afraid Miri? What hold does he have over you?”

They were so engrossed in their argument neither one heard the door open. “It’s none of your business! Just get out and leave us alone!”

Brian entered the house quietly not wanting to alert Miriam’s ex to his presence, but never in a million years did he expect to see Jenny standing there, “Jenny? What are you doing here?”

At the sound of Brian’s voice, Miriam quickly turned to look behind her. “Oh my God, he is here,” her fearful thought echoed inside her mind.

Miriam faced Brian to explain, apprehension edged on her face, and at that moment she noticed that Brian was not looking at her but at Jeremy. And his question and its meaning finally penetrated her petrified mind.

Jenny did not answer Brian’s question, in truth she barely heard it. One moment she is arguing with Miriam, and the next Brian is standing right in front of her! How did he find her here? In her confusion she came up with possible reasons for his being there. Did he know Miriam’s husband? Did they work together?

Brian completely ignored Miriam, his attention centered on Jenny. “Sweetheart, what are you doing here?” Oh my God, did she find out I’m married? He thought nervously, for the first time worried about her reason for being there.

Miriam stepped to the side, watching in shock Brian’s expression.

Then it hit her! The tone of his voice, what he called Jenny, and the look in his eyes as he stared at her…OH MY GOD! Is she the one his been seeing?!

Without knowing why Miriam spoke softly, “Brian this is my ex-husband, Jeremy. Jeremy this is my husband, Brian…”

“WHAT!” Both Jenny and Brian spoke at the same time, their faces registering total shock and disbelieve!

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! Is this some bullshit joke! Jenny what is she talking about?!”

Jenny was stunned speechless for a moment, her mind reeling in shock after Miriam’s introduction, her words echoed in her mind. Brian is my husband! My husband…my husband… Oh God! He is married! Everything hit her at once, the fear of having Brian find out the truth about her, all his lies, and the fact that he was the one abusing Miriam. Jenny’s voice was cold and calm when she spoke, “She’s telling the truth, I’m Jeremy. I had a sex change operation a year ago.”

Brian’s countenance transformed from confusion to a look of total disgust. His mind kept playing images of the times he touched her, kissed her, made love to her… OH MY GOD!!

The woman he loved had been a MAN?! NOOOO! NOOOO! In that second his mind snapped at the enormity of what he had done with this…this…THING! He felt disgust, and the love he had, turned to pure hate! He threw his head back and let out an animalistic growl.

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Miriam was paralyzed with fear at hearing this horrible sound. Jenny was startled but she stood her ground, anger building in her with every passing second!

Brian turned his fury immediately on Miriam. He knew she had something to do with this! She must have planned the whole thing to humiliate him. “You fucking bitch! You planned this, didn’t you?!”

“Br…Brian…I don’t know what you’re talking about! I don’t…”

DiNozzo was relaxing in the car listening to the radio when he saw the school bus arrive. “That must be his step-son,” he thought as he glanced at Timmy walking towards the house.

Brian interrupted Miriam, “BULLSHIT! You fucking bitch, you’re going to pay for this!”

As Brian reached for Miriam, Jenny stepped in front of her. “STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER ASSHOLE!”

Miriam trembled with fear behind Jenny, she had never seen that crazed look in Brian before, and it scared her to death.

Brian pointed a menacing finger at Jenny, “YOU CAN GO FIRST YOU FUCKING FREAK! YOU’RE AN ABOMINATION TO THE HUMAN RACE!”

“YOU PIECE OF SHIT! That dick between your legs doesn’t make you a man! A real MAN does not beat up on defenseless women and children! So the abomination is you ASSHOLE!”

Brian screamed in fury, “I can do whatever the hell I want with my fucking family…"

Jenny interrupted him, “They’re not your family asshole THEY’RE MINE!!”

Nobody had heard Timmy come in, nor did they hear his astonished intake of breath. He had been standing there for a couple of minutes stunned by the scene. He did not understand what the woman protecting his mother meant by that remark…he was petrified by Brian’s fury.

Brian looked at Jenny with utter hate, “I’m going to fuck you up bitch!”

Jenny looked at him with equal hatred, “We’ll see about that!”

Brian directed a punch at Jenny’s midsection which she quickly fended off. He was not as quick to avoid Jenny’s right jab from connecting with his ribs. Both Miriam and Timmy were rooted to the spot as they helplessly watched the fight.

Brian tried to punch Jenny in the face but she raised her arm and her shoulder deflected the blow. He saw a flash as she punched his face with a left hook, momentarily throwing him out of balance.

Before he could recover Jenny followed through with a high kick to the chest.

The force knocked the wind out of him, and it caused him to land heavily on the wooden floor.

Seeing that Brian was down, Jenny turned quickly to Miriam, “Get your things and let’s get you out of here!”

Neither Jenny nor Miriam saw Brian reach behind him for his gun as he started to get up. Only Timmy saw it, “MOM WATCH OUT!”

They both turned quickly but it was too late, Brian was pointing the gun directly at Miriam. Brian could only see red, and in his torturous brain he could find only one solution, kill all those he thought responsible for his humiliation.

His voice was deathly calm as he spoke, “You brought this sick fuck into my life! I know you both planned this shit and I’m going to kill you both, but I’m going to start with you!” Brian’s face showed no emotion as he fired the gun at Miriam.

Miriam screamed as she heard the gun explode, she expected to feel the bullet tearing through her head, but the pain never came.

“NO!” Jenny’s scream as she threw herself in front of Miriam was quickly cut off by the bullet hitting her squarely in the chest.

The gunshot startled DiNozzo and he ran out of the car immediately. When he entered the house he could not believe the scene before his eyes!

Timmy covered his face, the trauma of seeing a gun fired at his mother paralyzing him with fear. His mind had a delayed reaction to what his vision had captured. As his brain deciphered the fact that the woman had taken the bullet meant for his mother he let out a painful sob.

Jenny landed face down on the hardwood floor. A small hole on her back showing the exit path of the bullet, blood quickly began to stain her jacket.

Miriam let out a loud scream as she felt something warm hit her face. Her face was covered with blood splattered from Jenny’s wound. The bullet was embedded in the wall next to her, barely missing her by a couple of inches.

When she opened her eyes and saw Jenny laying at her feet with blood oozing out of her back, Miriam quickly knelt beside her. She gently rolled Jenny to her side and held her up.

Brian stood motionless…his mind still in shock at finding out the woman he loved was Miriam’s ex-husband. The anger, humiliation, and disgust he had felt, now spent after he fired the gun. He looked at Jenny without feeling any remorse…he felt nothing…

DiNozzo walked slowly towards Brian, his partner for the past eight years, and mumbled softly to himself. “What have you done?”

Pointing his gun at Brian he spoke firmly, “Drop your gun Brian! You’re under arrest!”

Jenny’s breathing was labored, the pain in her chest excruciating, she knew she was dying. She looked up and saw Timmy crying by the door. Her son…her beautiful son… She felt Miriam’s hands trying to gently stop the bleeding. “Mir…Miri… I…I’m…sorry… I…hurt…you…and…Timmy…”

“Jeremy…you’re going to be…” Miriam stopped when she saw that Jenny had stopped breathing. “Jeremy! Noooo!”

Miriam laid Jenny’s head gently back on the floor, and stood up. Her heart wrenching sobs sending a chill through DiNozzo as he recited Brian his Miranda Rights. Timmy sobbed beside his mother…shocked and confused… He had just witnessed a woman being killed and now his mother was calling her Jeremy? His father’s name!?

Brian looked at Jenny one last time before DiNozzo took him away. He felt nothing.

There was a peaceful look on Jenny’s face. Maybe now in death she would finally find the love and acceptance she had always craved for…

*****

A WEEK LATER

Only four people attended the service.

Each person carried their own sorrow and regrets.

Estelle dropped tearfully to her knees in front of her son’s casket.

She remembered him pleading with her to understand…to accept him… But she had let him go… She covered her face as she sobbed, “Oh God, please forgive me! My dear son, I’m sorry…”

Miriam tried to console Timmy. A lot had been said between them in the last week.

He now knew the whole truth about Jeremy. But she chose not to tell him the extent of Brian’s threats, at least not now, maybe someday…

Sammie’s tears carried with them all the memories of her friendship with Jenny. All their shared laughter, their tears, their dreams… Her best friend was gone…no one would be able to fill the void that her beautiful friend had left in her heart. She spoke softly as she looked towards the sky, “Jenny girl, I guess you’ll do anything to get out of wearing that maid of honor dress, right?” Her voice broke, “Oh Jenny…I love you my friend…”

Timmy was going to need counseling, not only for the trauma of seeing Jenny get killed but also to comprehend who she really was…his father. One thing he did know for sure, Jenny had saved his mother’s life…

Miriam closed her eyes as she remembered the beautiful way Jeremy had proposed. He had gallantly bent down on one knee, taken a stunning diamond ring out of his pocket and asked her to marry him…. After her joyous acceptance he held her tightly and looked lovingly into her eyes as he promised, “I will always take care of you Miri…”

"You did take care of me. You saved my life and your son’s life…thank-you.”

The four mourners walked out quietly after the service. Life would go on…

*****

THREE MONTHS LATER

Crystal Springs Penitentiary was home for numerous criminals. Cell block C housed the most violent - murderers and rapists roamed that section side by side.

And in one of its’ many cells Brian now served a life sentence for the hate crime of one Jenny Sanders aka Jeffrey Sanders.

The trial had taken a toll on Brian. He had lost considerable weight and with it his muscular frame. And even though the courts found him competent to stand trial, his vacant stare and gaunt face made many think otherwise.

Brian stretched out on his bunk and looked blankly at the brick wall of his new home. He knew what he had done…he knew he had lost everything. His job, his freedom, and the one he loved…

His thoughts about Jenny were a mixture of love and hate… Miriam…he did not think about at all…

Brian remained lost in his own thoughts unaware of the stealthy movement of the prisoners around him, or the fact that the guards had conveniently made themselves scarce.

He was brought back to reality with the sudden entrance of three prisoners into his cell. Before he could react a muscular convict with dreads sat heavily at the edge of his bunk.

With a menacing look Dreads reached for his leg as he said softly, “Well aren’t you nice and cozy?”

Brian quickly jerked his leg away from his touch and scooted backwards till his body touched the headboard. Fear like he had never felt before tightened around his throat causing his voice to come out in a squeak, “Wh…what do you want?”

Three more convicts had entered his cell while one of the first three went back outside to stand guard. The five convicts now standing threateningly in his cell were tall with thick muscles straining under their prison garb. Dreads had quickly jumped on top of his bunk and he stayed there squatting comfortably without answering his question.

Brian looked around desperately trying to find a way out of there – but there was no escape. One of the convicts rested his foot leisurely at the edge of Brian’s bunk.

The convict’s pockmarked face showed mirth as he answered Brian’s question, “Well chief I’m hurt! I thought you would remember me.” He smiled wickedly as he continued, “How’s my gun? You been taking care of it I hope.”

Brian realized with horror that this was the drug dealer he had sent to jail for murder, using fabricated evidence. Brian had kept the drug dealer’s gun as a souvenir. The same gun he had used to threaten Timmy’s life…

A skinhead with tribal tattoos on his shaved head spoke next, and his words sent a shiver down Brian’s back, “We heard you like to do men.”

Cornrows raised his eyebrow sarcastically his voice cold and hard as steel, “Guess you’ll be our little bitch now!”

Their laughter reverberated around the cell drowning out Brian’s pleas, “I’m sorry… Please! I beg you… I…”

The five burly convicts approached Brian in unison while two convicts stood guard outside.

“NOOOOOO! PLEASE! PLEASE! NOOOOOOOOOO!”

Excruciating and agonizing screams echoed through the prison walls…
But no one came to help…

SPECIAL THANKS TO:

My dear friend Hunter from Basic for Sims for the gorgeous funeral dresses she made specifically for my story! Thank-you dear, my cast loved them! :D

CHAPTER 6

2009-01-13T10:06:00.020-05:00

Miriam’s face registered shock and for a couple of seconds she could not respond. Then her face quickly showed disgust, and through gritted teeth she spoke, “So you went through with it after all…”

“Let’s not do this out here Miri,” Jenny interrupted giving Miriam a determined look.

“Fine, come on in!” She moved aside to let Jenny in. As she led Jenny to the living room she kept her face averted to hide her bruised cheek. Miriam signaled to the couch, “Have a seat,” and went to stand in a shadowed corner of the room. She didn’t want the sunlight to expose her gaunt and bruised face.

As Jenny sat down, Miriam stared at her in shock and disgust. How could this woman be Jeremy?! Her mind could not grasp the reality seating right in front of her. The man she had loved, the man who had given her so much happiness was gone forever…

Jenny’s determination faltered under Miriam’s accusing stare, she lean forward trying to escape the condemnation and hate directed at her.

Five years of pent up anger inside Miriam finally exploded, “How could you? How could you do that to yourself?! You fucking destroyed 11 years of our lives, our son’s life, to become a fucking freak?!”

Jenny answered in shock, the pain that word caused her evident in her voice, “You call me a freak?! Because I corrected a mistake done by Mother Nature?!"

"Shut up! Have you any idea how much you’re damn mistake destroyed me?!”

Jenny stood, her temper now riled up, and yelled back with just as much hurt and anger, her eyes watering as she spoke, “Do you think it was easy for me?! You were my best friend! I lost you and Timmy, and I lost my family! My father could not look at me again! He died hating me! And my mother refuses to see me; she blames me for my father’s death!"

“I fell in love with you! You made love to me! You fucked me! How could you do that and then tell me you wanted to be a woman?! How was I supposed to take it?!”

Jenny sat back down feeling defeated by the memory of her parents' disappointment and Miriam’s heartache, “I tried Miri! I tried so hard to conform to what society expected of me, what my family expected of me! But it just wasn’t me! I did not belong in the body I was born in, that was not me!"

"I would stare at myself in the mirror for hours, trying to make myself accept how you all saw me, as a man… But I was a woman born in a man’s body…don’t you understand…I had to correct that mistake! I am a woman Miri, and I’m still me!”

“Shut up! Every time you say that it turns my stomach! I married a man! And your correction left me no way of competing or fighting to save my marriage! I lost you to yourself! You destroyed everything I believed in and thought was real!”

“The idea that you would rather be with a man than be with me was…fuck, it was… YOU FUCKING DESTROYED ME! All I kept thinking about was that every time you touched me you were disgusted by me…”

Miriam’s voice broke and she couldn’t continue speaking, she felt her heart aching anew, she had kept all her self-doubts inside for so long that she felt emotionally exhausted now that she had let them out.

“I’m so sorry Miri… I never wanted to hurt you! I was never disgusted by you, I love you Miri… In my mind I didn’t make love to a woman I made love to my best friend…”

Miriam burst into tears at those words, all her control completely lost, “How am I supposed to introduce you to Timmy? How do you think he is going to respond? Do you think he is going to be thrilled to see his father in a woman’s body? Do you really want to screw him up like that?”

“Miri, please… I miss him so much… I will explain to him, I…” Jenny’s resolved began to weaken under Miriam’s logic. She walked towards the window and looked out for a second.

Without turning around she spoke again with determination edged on her face. “I’m still his father no matter what body I’m in!”

As Jenny turned around Miriam uncovered her face and looked at her, and at that moment the light hit her face showing with clarity what she had tried to conceal all along.

“What the hell?” Jenny reached Miriam in two steps and tried to pull her closer to get a better look, but Miriam quickly pulled away. “Who hit you? What the hell is going on Miriam?” Jenny’s voice started to shake with anger.

Miriam tried to cover her face but it was too late, “It’s nothing. I’m clumsy…I hit myself with the door and…”

“Bullshit! Is your husband hitting you?! Is he hitting Timmy?!”

“NO! I never let him touch Timmy!” Miriam stopped herself when she realized what she had said. The frightened look in her eyes telling Jenny all she needed to know.

“You’re getting out of here right now! You shouldn’t be taking this shit from any man! And you shouldn’t be putting Timmy through this!”

Miriam felt ashamed, humiliated, and petrified. She had to get rid of Jenny now, she didn’t want her to ask any more questions and she was scared Timmy would walk in at any minute and find Jenny there! “Whose fault do you think it is that I’m in this situation?" She hissed in a low voice. "You abandoned us and destroyed our marriage! YOU are responsible for the misery Timmy and I now live in!”

“Miri…” Miriam’s words inflicted the pain of fatal wounds and Jenny staggered at their impact.

All the hate Miriam had nurtured for all these years showed plainly in Miriam's eyes, “Just leave us alone, don’t come back again!”

“He is still my son, Miriam, and I’m going to come back tomorrow to see him, that is final!” Jenny walked with heavy feet towards the door; her body felt emotionally battered, and her mind could barely think through the pain. Miriam cried quietly as Jenny left, she knew she was going to have to tell Brian now that her ex was back…and that knowledge caused a shiver of fear to run up her spine…

*****

Brian had been pacing the office back and forth unable to concentrate in his work. Doubts kept assailing him and finally he broke down and called Jenny’s work. A pleasant voice answered on the first ring. “Women’s Health Center, how may I help you?”

“Good morning, my name is Brian McCoy may I speak with Jenny please.”

“Hello Brian this is Kate, Jenny is not here today.”

Blood rushed quickly to his head but he maintained his friendly voice, “Hi Kate, are you sure? I could have sworn she was working a double today...”

“Let me check, but I don’t think so…no she has the day off today.”

“I must have gotten the days mixed up, thank-you Kate you have a nice day,” his head pounding as he hung up the phone, Brian barely managed to control his rage.

He picked up his car keys and called out to DiNozzo, “I’ll be back in an hour!” Brian headed out without giving him a chance to respond. “Damn, his got it bad,” thought DiNozzo as he continued working on the arrest report.

*****

Sammie rushed to answer the insistent knocking on her door, “Yes? May I help you?”

“Hi, Sammie?" At her nod he continued, "I’m Brian. I’m sorry to bother you, I know we haven’t been properly introduced, I came by to see Jenny but when she didn’t answer her door I figured she might be here with you…”

“Hi Brian! It’s really nice to finally meet you!” Sammie’s heart started to pound with nervousness, of all the luck she thought to herself. “Jenny isn’t here she’s at work right now, she’s working a double shift today!”

He used every ounce of his self-control to keep his pleasant façade, “I must have misunderstood, I thought she switched her shift and was working tonight.”

“I’m sorry to have bothered you, but it was really nice to meet you Sammie. Maybe we can all go out and have some drinks together soon!”

“I’ll like that, thank-you! You take care!” Sammie agreed cheerfully relieved to have avoided a disaster.

As soon as the door closed Brian’s countenance revealed the blinding fury inside him. Two questions pulsating in his mind with each step, “Where the hell are you, Jenny and who are you with?!”

*****

LATER THAT EVENING

It was nearly 6:00pm by the time Jenny got back home. She had wondered around aimlessly for a couple of hours. When she got home she changed quickly and let her hair down, hoping that would relieve her pounding headache. As she sat in her living room she couldn’t stop the afternoon’s events from going over and over in her head. She felt completely to blame for what was happening to her son and to Miri. “Oh God… I didn’t want to hurt them…”

Sammie walked in at that moment, “Hey girl!” She wanted to tell Jenny that Brian had come by, but as she saw Jenny’s pained expression she ran quickly to her side. “What’s wrong honey? What happened?” She asked with concern as she kneeled to get a better look at Jenny’s face.

“It was horrible Sammie! I saw Miri…she said so many awful things…” Jenny’s voice broke and she swallowed hard before she continued, “She called me a freak. She said I would screw up my son’s life if he saw me like this, in a woman’s body!”

“Oh Jenny, I’m so sorry sweetheart, I know how that had to hurt you… She’s talking out of anger girl, you know that right? She was in love with you it’s her broken heart talking that’s all!"

“Her husband beats her Sammie! She has aged 10 years in the five years since I last saw her! She tells me he has not touched our son, but the idea that he is leaving in that environment… And just imagining what Miri is going through…"

Sammie interrupted in anger, “That son-of-a-bitch! Report him! Tell Brian, he’s a cop he’ll be able to do something about it!”

“I can’t girl! If I tell Brian, I’ll have to tell him about me, and I’m not ready yet!”

“She blames me! And she’s right! If I hadn’t fucking left them, they wouldn’t be in that house! Miriam would not be getting the shit beat out of her every day, if it wasn’t for me! It’s my…”

“Stop that shit right now!” Sammie’s anger passed the boiling point. “What kind of fucking guilt trip did she lay on you?! You made the decision that was right for you! She chose to marry that asshole you didn’t tell her to do it! So I don’t want to hear you keep blaming yourself, you got it?!”

“Oh, Sammie, it hurt’s so bad! I miss my son, I want to see him, and I want to get them out of there, but I don’t know how…”

“Well this is what you’re going to do first, get up!” Sammie straightened up and pulled Jenny out of the couch. “You’re not going to give up! You are a strong, bad ass beautiful woman! So go kick some ass and stop feeling sorry for yourself!”

Jenny couldn’t help but smile at Sammie’s drill sergeant voice, “Yes, ma’am!”

“That’s more like it! Now listen girl, we’ll go get your family out of that house! We can get them away from here just like when you left! They’ll get a new identity and a safe place to live!”

“Sammie, you’re a genius, I don’t know why I didn’t think about that!” Jenny said gratefully. But you don’t have to go girl, I’ll be fine. Now that you cleared my mind and gave me a plan, I’ll be able to convince Miri to leave!”

Jenny pulled Sammie into a warm hug, “I love you girl, you have saved me once again you know that?”

Sammie cleared her throat, “I love you too honey, that’s what friends are for…”

“Although, you know that since you owe me and all, you’re going to have to get me a pretty damn big wedding present right?” Sammie smiled sweetly and after a second both friends burst out laughing…

*****

Miriam slouched despondently on the lazy-boy in her bedroom. She knew the nightmare was true, but she had refused to believe it… The woman who had visited her home earlier today was Jeremy!

Throughout all her ranting and raving a part of her mind had snapped closed, hiding from the blatant truth! But the truth was coming in and a loved one’s face was quickly fading in its wake. A painful whisper escaped her lips, “Jeremy… You no longer exist….”

*****

NEXT MORNING

Jenny walked up to Brian as he was grooming his hair. He had come in close to 4:00am this morning but he looked well rested. She had waited until it was almost time for him to leave to tell him about Jeremy. “Brian, Jeremy came by yesterday, he is demanding to see Timmy...”

Brian swung around and in a furious voice interrupted her, “I don’t give a shit what that asshole wants! He better keep his faggot ass away from my house or I’ll arrest him for trespassing and harassment! But that’s after I beat the shit out of him, you got that?!”

Miriam cringed expecting Brian’s anger to escalate to a beating, “Y...yes I understand… I…I’ll tell him!”

Brian walked out still cussing and fuming, “Pussy motherfucker, gonna come into my house and make demands… I’ll fuck…” Brian’s voice faded as he left the house. Miriam stood shaking as she hugged herself. Relieve flowed through her that she had escaped a beating even though he had been furious. Now she had one more hurdle to jump…stop Jeremy from coming back…

*****

EARLY THAT AFTERNOON

Jenny arrived at Miriam’s house early. She had left her place before Sammie could see her. Since she had no doubt Sammie would tease her about her attire. Jenny had chosen a more conservative outfit, one that would cover her curves. Even though all that Sammie had said was correct, she did not want to shock her son more, with all her new curves in display.

Miriam let Jenny in without saying a word. They stood near the entry way without saying a word, neither one sure on how to begin.

Jenny cleared her throat before she spoke, “Miri, I can get you and Timmy out of here to a safe place. You will get new identities, he’ll never find you. Please let me take you both away from here.”

For a brief moment Miriam allowed herself to dream, the possibility of leaving this hell and never coming back… But Brian would find them. He was a cop, he would find a way, and then he would kill…

Forcing herself to squelch down that fantasy, she put forth her plan to get rid of Jeremy. Miriam’s voice, face, and expression, were as cold and as calculating as she had hoped when she spoke, “What makes you think I want to leave? I enjoy what he does to me, he’s a real man, but you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

*****

DiNozzo and Brian were on their way to talk to a couple of informants. If their leads panned out they would be able to close one of their cases by that afternoon. Brian had been seething all morning. Jenny had come up with another excuse for not seeing him again this afternoon. She had sounded very strained and that had him worried.

His love and desire for her were like a drug to him, and he needed a fix very badly! It was all he could do to maintain a civil tone around his partner, his jealousy and doubts were consuming him. Then the bullshit this morning with Miriam’s faggot ex-husband! Suddenly he wondered if he might not be at his home right now. I bet he is! That bitch probably let him in again! “DiNozzo, swing by my house, I need to pick up something.”

DiNozzo answered sarcastically, “Sure boss!”

“Fuck-you dick-wad!” but he smiled as he said it.

He was cheering up as he savored the idea of exerting some of his pent up anger on his wife’s ex. “I hope that pussy is there, I’ll give him the beating of a lifetime!”

CHAPTER 5

2008-12-18T14:58:00.015-05:00

LATER THAT EVENING

Miriam closed the dresser drawer after she finished getting ready. Brian’s work was having their yearly awards dinner that evening, and all detectives and their spouses were expected to show. Jeremy’s phone call and his words weighed heavily on her mind. She had not told Brian for fear of ruining the good mood he'd been in lately. At that moment Brian walked in.

Miriam tried to cover her dread of Jeremy’s upcoming visit before she turned around and faced Brian. She had applied heavy make-up in an attempt to conceal the gauntness and paleness of her face. She smiled weakly before speaking to Brian, “I’m ready.”

Brian stopped in his tracks and crossed his arms, “Ready for what?! To go to the circus?” He burst out laughing.

Still laughing he spoke in a cruel voice, “Do you actually think I’m going to take you to the awards dinner looking like that?! I want to be seen with a real woman, not a walking corpse with clown make-up on!”

Brian turned around and as he walked out of the room he threw a final remark over his shoulder, “Stay home and clean, that’s about all your good for now.” His laughter drifted back to her as he left the house. Miriam covered her face in shame.

She felt ugly and stupid with the make-up, and the unflattering dress she had on. Once she had been beautiful…desired… Miriam’s memories took her back to a happier time, her first kiss with Jeremy…

“Come on Miri it’s not that high! There’s a cool hot tub up there we could just relax there and look at the view!” Jeremy had been trying for a few minutes to convince her to go to the top of the campus tower. She was a little scared of heights but his soothing voice was working wonders on her fear.

“I’ll race you,” yelled Jeremy before he took off running, Miriam close at his heels. She could never resist a challenge. They ran up the stairs laughing the whole way!

As soon as Miriam caught up to Jeremy at the top of the tower, he pulled her towards him and kissed her passionately. Their first kiss! Miriam forgot all about her fear of heights; Jeremy’s arms were her safe heaven. His delicious kiss robbed her of all restraint…this was her man…and she was his.

They took of their clothes quickly, and in their swimming suits they entered the hot tub. The soothing hot water caressed their already heated bodies. Jeremy put his arms around her and whispered softly in her ear, “You are so beautiful Miri…you take my breath away…”

His words, his touch made her feel desirable, and beautiful! Alone in the tower, surrounded by the tranquil night views of the campus, they gazed intently into each other’s eyes, and declared their feelings towards each other. “Miri, I love you...”

Miriam caressed his hand with her fingertip and as she looked passionately into his eyes she whispered to him, “I love you too, Jeremy…”

Jeremy smiled with happiness after hearing her words. He swung her around to face him so he could better take possession of her lips.

They stayed in each others arms, kissing and caressing each other, until the wee hours of the morning…

Miriam wiped away the tears that had escaped at the memory of that night, “Oh, Jeremy…you made me feel so beautiful… And now I’m only a ‘corpse in clown make-up’!” Questions echoed in her mind filling her with anger and apprehension. How was she going to face him tomorrow? Why couldn’t he stay away from her? Why did he leave…? She hated him! His betrayal had brought her to this point!

*****

NEXT MORNING

Brian decided to call Jenny before he left to work, “Sweetheart I’m sorry our date got ruined last night! When the job calls I have to answer. You looked so beautiful last night! You were the most gorgeous woman in the awards dinner, and every damn cop there new that! I’m going to pick you up today right after you get off work…”

Jenny’s voice sounded a little strained as she interrupted him, “I can’t today darling, I have to work two shifts, but I’ll see you tomorrow…” As Jenny continued to speak Brian’s expression grew more serious. He sensed Jenny was not telling him the whole truth.

After they hung up, Brian stood grasping the receiver in frustration and anger. Doubts began to assail him as he asked himself, “Is she seeing someone else? Why did she lie?” She had seemed a little distant last night; he had sensed she was hiding something. She never spoke about her past and he had never minded until now! Jealousy and anger took control of him making his body shake with its intensity. He left the room in search of an outlet to his mounting fury!

*****

“Jenny! Where are you?” Sammie yelled out as soon as she walked into Jenny’s apartment.

“I’m out here Sammie,” responded Jenny from her small patio.

She turned towards her friend as soon as Sammie stepped out. One look at Sammie’s pajamas and she started to giggle, “What the hell? You started practicing already?”

“Hell yeah, I am!! JAPAN baby! You here me, I’m going to Japan!!” Exclaimed Sammie excitedly.

“Jenny, I’m so ecstatic I can barely sit still! I'm in a daze…”

Jenny interrupted her jokingly, “Well, damn girl, sit your ass down before you fall off my balcony! I don’t want you with a broken leg before your wedding! What kind of maid of honor would that make me?”

“Oh, girl can you believe this? I’m getting married! My heart hasn’t stopped racing since he proposed!” Jenny smiled at seeing the look of pure joy on her friend’s face.

"Well stop swinging that freaking rock around, it's blinding me!" She teased her before continuing in a more serious tone.

“I’m glad he finally got some sense into him, and realized what a marvelous woman you are! I hate that you’re moving so far away Sammie, but I’m so happy for you!” Jenny looked at her friend tenderly wishing with all her heart that Sammie’s every dream would come true with this man.

Sammie replied seriously, “You opened my eyes with your words the other night. You were right I did let his parents’ and his old firm’s prejudice fill me with self-doubts… They were too set in their ignorant ways to understand interracial relationships.”

“I was ready to leave him that night, and that was the night he proposed! Isn't that shit funny?" She laughed and continue speaking without waiting for a resonse, "I had no idea that all those trips he had been taking lately were for the new job in Japan! His proposal that night blew me away! And I’m still flying! He is tired of waiting for his family to accept us, he just has to take care of one more thing today, and all that will be over. We’ll be able to start our lives together! A new beginning in Japan!”

Jenny looked at Sammie and smiled, “I’m really very happy for you girl! You deserve all the happiness in the world! You were there for me through the most painful moments in my life…I’ll always be here for you Sammie, I hope you know that!”

“I know Jenny...you are my best friend girl, you have been there for me also! Enough about me, I came over for you! Are you still going today?” Sammie asked as she looked intently into her friend’s eyes.

Jenny took a deep breath before she responded, “Yes, I am. I have to face my demons once and for all, Sammie. I love Brian with all my heart but as long as my past still has this hold on me I can’t completely enjoy my relationship with him.”

Sammie asked her softly, “Did you tell him yet?”

Jenny straightened up in her seat in agitation, “I can’t! I’m scared Sammie… I don't want to loose him, I love him too much!”

She sat back before continuing, “He called earlier and I told him I had to work two shifts today. Things are getting very serious between us, I really think he will ask me to marry him... I don’t want to ruin what we have… I can’t handle that right now, not when I’m going to be loosing you to Japan!”

“You are not loosing me! Things are going to work out you'll see! You deserve to be happy just as much as I do! Come on, get your ass up and give me a hug you stupid girl!” Sammie added jokingly.

Both friends hugged each other tenderly, “Everything is going to be okay Jenny, trust me!”

“I hope so Sammie…I really hope so…”

*****

Miriam was talking to Timmy before he left to school, unaware of the pent up anger barreling towards her.

Brian smacked Timmy on the head as he yelled, “What the fuck are you still doing here you little shit, get your ass to school now!"

Miriam tried to pull him away from Timmy exclaiming at the same time, “Don’t touch him!” Brian hit her hard on the chest to push her off him.

And in rapid succession he punched her face with such force that it snapped her head back causing her to loose her balance.

Even with his head throbbing and fear surging through his body, Timmy quickly reached out to try and stop Miriam from falling, “Mom!”

“You fucking idiots, you both are worth nothing!” Brian hissed down at them. He felt better now that he had let off some steam.

Without a backward glance he turned around, his mind only on Jenny. “I’ll find out your truth Jenny!” He thought with confidence as he walked out.

“I’m okay Timmy,” Miriam said weakly as Timmy helped her up.

They held each other without words, tears rolling down both of their faces...consoling each other with that embrace.

After Timmy left for school, Miriam stood looking at herself in the mirror. Her cheek already darkening and swelling with a bruise, she knew she would not be able to hide it from Jeremy. She prayed silently that he wouldn't show up…

*****

LATER THAT AFTERNOON

Miriam’s apprehension grew as the hours ticked by slowly. Timmy was due home in another 30 minutes, the ring of the phone startled her but at the same time it gave her a glimmer of hope that it would be Jeremy to tell her he was not coming over after all. “Hello?” She answered with a trembling voice.

“I’m outside Miri, open the door.” Jeremy’s determined command destroyed all her hopes.

The doorbell rang at the same time that Jeremy hung up. Miriam slowly put down the receiver.

She walked to the door feeling like a condemned person walking to their execution. Anger, hurt, and shame invading her at the same time…

“Jeremy?!” She said painfully and in confusion after she opened the door and saw the person standing there.

“Hello Miri, I go by Jenny now…”

CHAPTER 4

2008-12-09T22:49:00.013-05:00

A WEEK LATER

“Did he say where he was going to take you tonight?” Sammie asked as she enjoyed the warm feeling of the sun’s rays on her skin.

“He’s taking me to that new club, Sky! I can’t wait I’ve heard it’s really nice and that it has some gorgeous views of the city!” Jenny replied excitedly. “Brian has been so generous and patient with me. I know he can’t wait forever, and I want him so badly, I think maybe tonight, but I’m afraid… I haven’t been intimate since…”

Sammie interrupted her reassuringly, “I know girl…I know. Trust me in this, it’s going to be fine, you are a beautiful woman remember that! Have you told him about your family?”

Jenny raised herself on her elbow and looked at Sammie solemnly before she replied, “I don’t know how or even what to say. I’m so ashamed, my mother won’t even take my calls…she refuses to speak to me since dad died…it’s like I committed a crime! She hates me, she’ll never forgive me!”

Sammie looked at her friend with kindness and replied consolingly, “You didn’t do anything wrong Jenny. You had a right to do what you did, it’s your life! I’m sorry your father died before he could understand that… There is nothing that needed to be forgiven, it was your right. Hopefully, soon your mother will understand, but stop blaming yourself for his death you have nothing to be ashamed off.”

“I know, you are right, but it still hurts. I don’t know what I would do without you girl… You were there for me through the most difficult period of my life I owe you big time!”

Sammie lay down on her stomach and smiled warmly at her friend, “I luv ya too girl, you know that! And you are right you do owe me big time! There’s this Gucci purse I saw the other day…”

“Screw you girl, real funny! Let’s see how funny you are when I beat you to the pool!” Jenny replied smiling.

Both friends got up quickly, ran to the pool, and jumped in, they came up laughing at the same time.

“I beat you!” Jenny bragged with a smile as she swam near her friend.

Sammie laughed before replying, “I’ll give you that one but the next one I’m kicking your ass!” They both laughed and continue swimming and playing the rest of the afternoon.

*****

After a week Miriam’s battered body had started to heal, her body was still sore and she tried to rest as often as she could. She had been reading a book in the living room when the phone rang. She made her way slowly to the phone her voice barely audible when she answered it, “Hello?”

“Miri, this is Jeremy. Come on, it’s gone on long enough! You have to let me see Timmy! Does he even know I’ve been calling?” Jeremy’s voice sounded strained and anxious.

Miriam closed her eyes. The sound of his voice always caused a multitude of conflicting feelings to run crazily through her... Love, despair, humiliation, anger, and shame… “Stop calling Jeremy. Leave us alone!” She clicked the off button before he could respond.

She pulled the receiver away from her face, her vision blurry by new tears. In a chocked whisper she let out her fear, “I can’t let you see what I have become…what your betrayal has made of me…” She hung up the phone and walked back slowly to the living room.

*****

“Shit, I think I screwed up my eye shadow! Do you think this shadow looks good with this dress?” Sammie asked as she looked at herself in the mirror nervously adjusting her hair and makeup.

Jenny looked on from her comfortable perch on the island’s bar stool. “Girl, stop fussing, you look gorgeous!”

“What about my ass?” Does it look good in this dress?”

“Oh for crying out loud! Okay listen, if I was a man I’d want to do you? Okay? Does that answer your question?” Jenny exclaimed jokingly.

“Yeah, real funny, ha ha! Look Jenny, I’m just anxious. I want him to find me irresistible and feel proud when he walks into a room with me! Maybe then he’ll be able to introduce me to his family and to his partners.” Sammie had no idea how breathtaking she looked standing under the soft light of her living room. Her makeup and hair were flawless, and her form fitting dress accentuated her gorgeous curves. Her self-doubts were consuming her.

Jenny stood up and walked towards her friend. Her heart broke at seeing Sammie so distressed and unsure of herself. “Sammie, you are beautiful! Don’t let this man’s self-centeredness and doubts rob you of your confidence and self-assurance! You are a strong, beautiful black woman! Be proud of that, and if he has a problem with that, then screw him! Now we are going to have fun and that is all there is to it!”

Sammie smiled softly at her friend’s quick attempt to boost her ego, she loved her for that, for always coming to her ‘rescue’. They were quite a pair. “You're right honey, let’s go have some fun!

*****

Jenny looked around her surroundings. Club Sky was just as ultra-chic as she had heard! The city skyline views were magnificent!

As the bartender prepared their drinks she turned to Brian in awe, “You are spoiling me! I’m going to get used to all these nice places you’ve been taking me! And there is no way I can afford them in my nurse’s salary!”

Brian caressed her hand while he answered her, “Sweetheart as long as you’re with me you’ll never have to worry about paying. Everything I have is yours. I love you Jenny.” It was true. He had fallen head over heels in love with this woman, there was no denying it. Everything about her robbed him of all sense. When she had walked out of her apartment in that sexy outfit with those thigh-high boots he thought he would explode!

“I love you too, Brian.” Jenny answered softly her heart beating a mile a minute after hearing his declaration of love. She thought she would never be this happy again, not after what had happened...

They spent a wonderful time talking and joking about everything and nothing at all. The club’s atmosphere, the exotic drinks, and the beautiful views were intoxicating all their senses. But most of all their mutual desire for each other was igniting their blood.

Having made up her mind and no longer able to resist anymore Jenny gave Brian a provocative look while she softly spoke, “Take me home baby…I want you…”

Brian quickly jumped off the stool and paid the bartender his bill. He felt himself hardening in anticipation after hearing her words.

He grabbed her hand and almost yanked her out of her seat in his rush to get out of there! Jenny laughed at his reaction loving the effect her words had on him! Like lustful teenagers they rushed out of the bar desperate to get to her apartment to consummate their love.

*****

The entire drive to her apartment they could barely keep their hands to each other. Between kisses, embraces, and caresses they made their way to her front door. “I love you Jenny.” Brian murmured as he pulled her towards him one more time for a passionate kiss before she unlocked the door.

As soon as they walked inside Brian led her to the couch and let his passion loose. He caressed her body through the leather material of her clothes. The feel of her voluptuous curves under him and the taste of her sweet lips inflamed his desire.

To his surprise and joy Jenny quickly took control, with amazing strength she pushed him down on the couch and leaned over him. She traced his lips delicately with her tongue and nibbled softly on his bottom lip. Her ministrations and the soft moan that escaped her luscious lips sent a rush of pleasure and excitement to his already throbbing groin.

Feeling him harden underneath her she deepened her kiss. After a few more minutes she asked him to wait for her in her bedroom while she went into her bathroom to change.

Brian rested on Jenny’s bed, waiting for her to come out. His body still hard from their previous passionate kisses, his excitement escalating as he realized he would finally be making love to her. Jenny stepped out and stood at the foot of the bed stealing his breath away. She was a vision of lustful curves clad only in black silk lingerie and stiletto slippers. Her hair framed her beautiful face in a wild mass.

Unable to control himself any longer Brian jumped out of the bed, and pulled her desperately to him taking ahold of her lips. As he kissed her they moved together towards the bed.

Jenny leaned back on her elbow and smiled passionately at Brian. “I love you…make love to me.”

He took his time looking at her, caressing her body with his eyes. Then he lifted his hand and traced his finger down the top edge of her bra sensually pulling the material down to expose her hardening nipple.

The sight of her naked breast and her passion flushed face filled him with a possessive desire. “You are mine now Jenny…mine forever!”

They made tempestuous love all night. The desire that both had held back for all those weeks finally exploded and brought them both to wondrous heights numerous times!

Afterwards they lay facing each other holding hands. Jenny smiled contentedly feeling thoroughly and pleasantly satisfied. Her eyes slowly closed in an exhausted sleep, her lips still holding a smile. Brian’s mind could hardly comprehend what had just happened to him. No one had ever made love to him so thoroughly and so completely before! He thought he would be possessing her, but in the end she possessed him… He fell asleep holding her.

*****

TWO WEEKS LATER

Miriam meticulously cleaned the bathroom as she thought about the last two weeks. Brian had been in a surprisingly good mood again. He rarely came home and when he did it was only to quickly change clothes and leave again. She had never seen him in such a mood before. Unconsciously she allowed a glimmer of hope to enter her heart. Maybe he would let her go…

The ringing of the phone interrupted her thoughts. She turned and walked to answer it quickly in case it was Brian.

It wasn’t Brian. As soon as she heard Jeremy’s voice her relaxed demeanor changed. “What the hell do you want? I told you not to call again!”

“I’m coming over tomorrow Miriam. I’m going to see my son whether you like it or not!” Jeremy spoke forcefully and before she could answer he hung up the phone.

Miriam stood in stunned silence the receiver forgotten in her hand. “Oh, God no… No…” The words escaped her lips as the realization hit her full force.

Her arm dropped to her side, the receiver still in her hand. Jeremy was coming over tomorrow…. After five years they would see each other again….and there was nothing she could do to stop him…

CHAPTER 3

2008-11-15T16:28:00.001-05:00

Pain...mind numbing pain... After Brian had fallen asleep Miriam had slowly made her way to the dimly lit bathroom, every step an agony. She stood looking at herself in the mirror, observing the damage that Brian had inflicted. She was in a stupor, her mind only comprehending the pulsing and throbbing pain that emanated from every inch of her body. She wasn't even aware that she was crying until she saw the tears rolling down her bruised face.

"Jeremy..." She whispered, as her eyes roamed her sore and bruised body. Little by little her mind made way to the memories and the questions. How did she get here? Why did it happen? Every day after Jeremy had walked away, she lost a part of her confidence and self-esteem. He obviously no longer found her attractive or desirable otherwise he would not have betrayed her that way. She would look at her naked body and be disgusted by what she saw! She no longer saw herself, but what she thought Jeremy had seen... a disgusting and repugnant woman.

For months she had walked around with the humiliation that her ugliness had turned her husband away! She thought no man would ever find her desirable again, until she met Brian. He was kind, attentive, and he flirted with her outrageously. He opened the possibility in her mind that there was nothing wrong with how she looked... "Miriam, I love the way the sun shines on your beautiful hair. Your eyes hypnotize me. I am falling in love with you. Every night I go to bed thinking of you, and my body craves to hold you...touch you..."

No doubt about it he loved her body, she was his personal whore...his human punching bag. She imagined smashing the mirror, smashing it into a million pieces. Smashing and erasing the torturous images taunting her there. Unable to look at herself any longer, Miriam turned slowly and headed to the shower. Without turning on the light she stepped inside. All she wanted was to wash away every repulsive touch...scrub away his disgusting smell.

Miriam turned the faucet on and she watched the cold water as it came out of the showerhead and hit her body, but the cold did not penetrate her mind... Her mind was filled with thoughts of Jeremy. "Why Jeremy, why did you leave? Why did you betray me?" She whispered softly as images of happier times enveloped her in their warmth... Warmth that her abused body screamed for...yearned for...

She remembered that day in the bathroom when she had walked in on Jeremy as he was getting ready for work. He had just stepped out of the shower and had only a towel wrapped around him. She had put on a sexy little number sure to keep him hot and bothered the rest of the day! "Come here you minx!" Jeremy growled as he grabbed her quickly and pulled her close to him.

"What's wrong sir? See something you like?" Miriam laughed merrily as she felt the pressure of her husband's lithe and firm body.

"Good Lord, Miri, you look very enticing in this... I find I see a 'lot' that I like! I do believe I will show you..." He murmured as passion ignited his eyes. She felt his hot breath nearing one of her weak spots, her neck.

"Jeremy! You're going to be late!" She manage to exclaim amongst her laughter and increasing excitement.

As soon as Jeremy's lips touched her neck she forgot everything else. Heat rose rapidly through her body and a familiar ache throbbed between her legs at his expert touch. "Mmmm....Jeremy...aaah..."

Jeremy quickly took a hold of her lips. The soft feel of his delicious lips, the warm sweet taste of his tongue as he thoroughly ravished her mouth...playfully inserting his tongue in and out as if he was penetrating her elsewhere...caused all her senses to be on fire... He slowly nibbled on her bottom lip and licked her lips tenderly with his tongue... Oh, he could always kiss her senseless.

As he released her lips and pulled back slightly to look down on her, she managed to say with a delighted smile on her face, love plainly visible in her eyes. "Well, I guess someone liked this outfit!"

Jeremy looked at her with such intensity in his eyes and his next words sent her heart reeling with joy. "I love you Miri, with all my heart, I will always love you! You are everything to me, you are part of me my love, and I will always take care of you! Sweetheart... I love you in everything you wear and more when you don't wear anything at all! I think there are a couple of parts of your body that are screaming for my attention right now... I don't think I should keep them 'waiting'!" He finished with a sexy smile.

He then lowered his head and proceeded to nibble and lick her nipple through the lacey material of her lingerie...her nipples quickly puckering under his expert ministrations. He slowly moved one hand lower, and after gently removing the delicate fabric covering his prize, he touched and caressed her very being into utter submission... Which she gladly gave with a passionate moan, "Aaaaah..."

"Jeremy...oh, Jeremy... Where are you? I need you so much! You promised to take care of me always! You promised to love me always! Why? You were my life!" Miriam whispered as she sobbed, the water sliding down her body a sad substitute for the hands she craved for...the man she craved for...

"For three years I lived with the shame of your betrayal, feeling ugly and undesirable. You left me at his mercy! He was the first one to look at me with kindness and desire! I NEEDED THAT! And without knowing it I married the devil!" Miriam ranted softly, talking to the showerhead as if it could listen and understand. She covered her face in shame as she remembered that night.

She had been married to Brian only three days. She had not wanted to go on a honeymoon, preferring to stay close to Timmy. It was late at night Timmy had gone to sleep hours ago. Brian was making love to her, but her mind had been transported elsewhere, the memory bringing tears to her eyes, and in one weak moment someone's name excaped her lips in a soft moan, "Jeremy..."

"What?!" "What the fuck did you just say?!" Brian raised himself quickly above her, his hard stare pinning her to the bed.

Tears rolling more freely down her face and her heart beating rapidly Miriam tried to apologize for her error. "Brian, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry it was a mistake..."

"The hell it was! That was no fucking mistake! You still think about that asshole!" Brian interruped her loudly. He pulled out of her and got up quickly from the bed.

Miriam remembered feeling sad for hurting Brian that way. She had gotten up also, and as he was yanking on his jeans, she had put on her robe.

She could tell he was furious and she touched his arm to calm him. "Brian, I'm so sorry... you didn't deserve that, you have been kind and sweet to me from the beginning. I thought I was over him...but I'm not. Maybe this was a mistake... I shouldn't have married so soon. I'm sorry. It will be better if I leave."

No sooner had she said that when she felt Brian jerk away from her grasp and push her hard at the same time. She went flying over the blanket chest at the foot of the bed. She heard Brian's cold voice, and caught a glimpse of a wicked smile appearing on his lips. "So, you want to leave me? We'll see about that!" He rushed out of the room after grabbing something from the back of the dresser.

After she got up from the chest she ran after him. She found him standing near Timmy as he slept innocently on his bed, unaware of the drama going on around him. Timmy's bedroom was pitch-black but she still caught the menacing glint of the golden gun in Brian's hand. "One more step and I'll shoot him on the spot." Brian's steely command froze her mid step.

Miriam remembered with clarity the paralyzing fear that had gripped her at the sight of that gun. She remembered falling to her knees at Brian's feet, and begging for her son's life!

"Brian, please...please don't... I'll do whatever you want, whatever you need...please not my Timmy...not my son..." She had to force her petrified voice to stay at a whisper level so as not to wake Timmy, her heart punding so hard in her chest it almost drowned out the rush of blood going through her head.

Brian's voice was quiet but deadly, "You ever try to leave me bitch and your son dies. This gun belonged to a drug dealer who swore revenge. I'm a cop. No one would doubt that Timmy's death was a result of that payback...no one."

"I won't try to leave you, I promise...please Brian I promise...don't hurt my son..."

"You will be my bitch, my whore, from now on you are no longer a 'wife'. You try to ask for help whore and I will kill your son right in front of your eyes before I ram this gun up your pussy and pull the fucking trigger, do you understand bitch?" He hissed through his teeth.

Miriam looked at him knowing full well that as of that moment her world had turned into a living hell! "Yes...I'll be you whore..."

Miriam doubled over in pain, her hand reaching out to the wall for support. The memories of that horrible night, and her recent violent assault at his hands, caused her to feel a knifing pain in her gut.

Her heart constricted in her chest driving a shooting pain throughout her upper torso... She slid to her knees defeated...beaten. Between gasping breaths she mumbled, "I'm nothing... I'm worth nothing... I deserve to die... I'm nothing!"

Miriam sat down on the shower floor. She opened her mouth wide and let out all her pain, all her anger, all her fears...without making a sound. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU LEFT ME AT HIS MERCY! I'M NOTHING! NOTHING!! TIIIMMMMYYY! TIIIMMMMYYYY!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Her agony was even more heart wrenching because of her muted screams.

*****

In the morning Timmy found his mother sitting quietly in the living room. "Hi, mom, did you sleep w...?" His greeting faltered at the sight of his mother's bruised face. "Mom?"

"He did it again didn't he?"

"Timmy, listen..." Miriam spoke as she lifted herself painfully out of the couch.

Timmy's eyes moistened at seeing the brutal bruises and thinking about the obvious pain they must be causing his mother. "Listen to what mom? What's to listen? More excuses? Why don't you just leave him?! Why?!"

Miriam hugged her son and held on to him tightly. Only twelve years old and he had already seen so much pain. The images of that gun and her son's beautiful innocent face swam in front of her eyes. "I can't my baby... I can't."

CHAPTER 2

2008-11-10T02:01:00.000-05:00

"I thought we would never make that experiment work!" Miriam spoke in an excited tone. This was her first un-official date with Jeremy and it was going great! Just sitting across from him was keeping her heart racing. They were both taking the same Physics class and it wasn't long before they were assigned to the same lab group. Jeremy had suggested they go to the campus Quad for coffee to celebrate the success of their last lab assignment.

Afterwards they walked around the Quad, they joked and laughed...the attraction building between them at a rapid pace.

They sat down near the center of the Quad and with no one to disturb them they shared their most intimate thoughts and dreams. "My parent's want me to study law, follow the family tradition. They're wonderful parents and I don't want to disappoint them, but how can I tell them that is not what I want to do?" Jeremy spoke in a quiet voice.

"I don't know what I would do if my parents forced me to study something I didn't like!" Miriam responded feeling grateful for having such supportive parents.

They talked for hours and shared everything about their lives. They had so much in common! "I have to go Jeremy, I have to go meet my study group, we have a test in the morning." Miriam said with regret.

He helped her stand and at the touch of their hands a warm tingling sensation ran up their arms. "I'll walk you home."

They both had a great sense of humor and when they reached her sorority house they played like little children in the middle of the street. Miriam had never laughed so hard or enjoyed herself more!

They stood facing each other both hesitant to let the afternoon end. Jeremy took her hands in his and taking a big breath to calm his nerves he spoke, "Miri, I've wanted to talk to you from the first time I saw you in class. You are so beautiful..." He took another big gulp and finished in a rush, "I had a wonderful time this afternoon...would you like to go out with me sometime?"

Miriam had been certain of her attraction from the very first moment she laid eyes on him, and after this day she had not doubts. "I would love to go out with you, Jeremy!" She answered with a smile, her heart rejoicing inside her chest!

Jeremy gently pulled her into an embrace. He was lean but when she placed her hand on his shoulder she could feel the sinewy muscles underneath his shirt. With her other hand she felt the soft texture of his beautiful hair.

"Oh, God he smells so wonderful... his so strong..." She thought when both the scent and feel of him penetrated her senses. With her thoughts and feelings running amuck, she knew her heart was lost!

The smell of burning food snapped Miriam back to the present.

"Damn, I guess is a good thing I'm eating out tonight!" Brian's sarcastic tone behind her send shivers up her spine. She turned around reluctantly to face him.

He walked to her and she cringed expecting a beating for ruining dinner, but to her surprise he just laughed and ridiculed her. "I guess even cooking is too much for your little brain to handle, isn't it?"

"Try not to burn down the house while I'm gone!" He said over his shoulder sarcastically as he walked away.

Miriam threw out the burned mess and started to prepare a fresh batch of spaghetti. She was surprised that Brian had let her mishap go with just a small reprimand. His mood seemed to have improved in the last couple of weeks. He stayed out late almost every night and when he came home he smelled of women's perfume.

The bruises on her face had faded. Brian had been too busy and obviously too happy to touch her. At night he would whistle and hum as he got ready for bed. But even his temporary happiness wouldn't assuage her apprehension. She did not relax her guard until she heard his snoring, then she knew she had been spared one more day. She was about to take the pot to the stove when the phone rang. She hurried to answer it in case it was Brian checking up on her.

"Hello?" She answered timidly.

"Miri...is Jeremy."

Her expression quickly changed to fury when she heard the voice on the other end. All the pain, anger, and humiliation came back in full force, and she shouted back in anger, "What the fuck do you want? How did you get this number?"

"Please, Miri don't hang up. He's my son! Please, you have to let me see Timmy, please! I miss him so much! Isn't five years enough punishment?" Jeremy's voice sounded supplicant and tearful.

Miriam's shame overrode her anger. There was no way she would ever let Jeremy see what had become of her life, NEVER! Through gritted teeth she responded, "A life time would not be enough punishment for what you did to us! Stay away from us! Don't call again!"

She hung up and like an automaton she went back to her cooking.

*****

Brian picked up Jenny and took her to the, Irish Coffee Pub, a quaint little Irish restaurant that was located in the neighborhood he grew up in; Jenny instantly fell in love with the atmosphere and décor. After the host led them to their table she exclaimed smiling, "Brian, this place is beautiful!"

Brian put his hand on top of Jenny's hand resting on the table. "You look more beautiful every time I see you." He whispered softly as he caressed her hand. Even that light touch sent heat surging through his body. In the last two weeks they had gone out almost every night, and she was becoming more desirable to him by the minute.

Jenny entwined her fingers with his and gave him a flirtatious look, "You are so good for my ego, Brian..." Jenny was on cloud nine. She couldn't believe her luck at meeting this man. He was so virile and charming, and such a gentleman. He was always very attentive to her needs, and he would actually listen when she talked, a very rare thing in a man for sure.

As the waiter brought their food, one of the restaurant's specialties, the delicious aroma of the, Irish Beer-Grilled pork chops, preceded his approach.

"Oh my god, Brian this is delicious! I think I better start becoming a little more adventurous with my food. I've always been afraid to try new cuisines."

"Well, stay with me beautiful, and I'll make sure you try something different every day!" Brian answered her with a mischievous look in his eyes.

"I bet you would big man, I just bet you would!" Jenny replied with a wicked grin of her own.

They continued enjoying their meal while they flirted. At the beginning, Brian intended to play his usual cat and mouse game, but these last couple of weeks had changed his mind. Her outgoing and independent personality, her ability to stay with him head to head with the flirtatious innuendos, and the delicious curves barely disguised by the form fitting outfits she loved to wear, were doing some very strange things to his head. Not to mention other parts of his body.

He wanted her, he desired her to the point of obsession. He had never been this attracted to a woman before. The way she kept him at bay turned him on even more. He actually enjoyed her company and the sound of her sensual voice as she talked about her day.

After their meal, while the waiter collected their plates, Jeny filled him with compliments, "The food was delicious, please tell the chef..." As she spoke the waiter smiled broadly and a hint of attraction showed in his eyes. Brian hid his momentary anger at seeing Jenny speaking like that to another man. Once they were together he would put a stop to it, she would speak like that only to him. He sent the man off to get some champagne before he exploded and did something he would regret.

Once they were holding their glassesBrian offered a toast, "To another wonderful evening!" And what he hoped would be an even more wonderful night!

*****

After they left the restaurant Brian took her to a little secluded area and soon they were in each other's arms kissing and caressing each other passionately.

Jenny soon pulled back her breathing labored and a dreamy look in her eyes. "Oh, Brian you rob me of all my senses...but it's late, please take me home." He knew Jenny wanted him. He could see in her eyes the dsire he ignited in her when they kissed, but then he would see a momentary flash of...something. He couldn't define what it was he thought he saw, for just as quickly her eyes would become shuttered and she would pull away.

"Baby, please...just a little longer...can't you see how much I want you?" Brian's breathing was just as labored as he mumbled his request, his hands still caressing her bare thigh.

"Brian...please don't make it more difficult for me, I want you also... I...just give me a little more time..." Jenny smiled sweetly at him to soften her refusal.

Brian stiffly pulled away and turned the ignition on. "I understand, sweetheart, take all the time you need." He told her softly, but as he drove her home there was a steely glint in his eyes, a malevolent glint that foretold impending doom.

*****

Later on that night at Jenny's apartment...

"Details! I want details girl!" Jenny smiled as she glanced out her window, seeing the reflection of her friend perched on top of her kitchen counter hassling her for details of her recent date with Brian. "It was so romantic!"

She turned around to continue, "Oh, Samie he is wonderful to me! He makes me feel alive! He is courteous, respectful, and a total gentleman! He helps me in and out of the car, he holds doors open for me, he always takes me to the nicest restaurants and bars!"

"Dang girl! Now tell me how your really feel!" Samantha said jokingly. She couldn't help but be thrilled that her friend had found a good man. Jenny looked radiant and the dreamy look in her eyes, were almost making her envious. Samantha wished for just a moment that her relationship was just as free. "You really like him don't you?" She asked with a smile, Jenny was her closest friend and she wanted the best for her.

Jenny returned Samantha's inquiring look with an intense look, and without hesitation she responded wistfully, "I really do Samie...I think I can really fall for this guy. He makes me feel desirable and delicate...he makes me feel like a woman! You should see how muscular he is, when I'm with him I feel protected, no one dares to mess with him! You know I need to feel that strength..."

"I know honey, I know...come on let's go to the living room!" Samantha suggested then she hopped off the counter, walked quickly to the living room and plopped herself down on the couch.

"Okay, enough of the mushy stuff, now I want the juicy details! How is he WORKING IT?!" Samie asked in a sing song voice laughing at the same time.

"You are sick my friend, you really are! But...since you asked all I can tell you is that the man has A s e r i o u s 'package' waiting for me to open!"

They both burst out laughing at the same time and continued their anatomy discussion until late into the night.

*****

Brian stood in the bedroom seething in anger. His venomous stare fixed on Miriam's sleeping form. After he dropped off Jenny he drove away quickly, the sexual tension burning through his body making him drive erratically the whole way home.

He wanted Jenny! He wanted her with every fiber of his being! He was close, he knew he was almost there...just a little more time. He would give it to her, the prize was worth the wait. But in the meantime...he looked at Miriam with hate in his eyes, this bitch would do!

He undressed quietly. He walked around to her side and in one quick movement he used one hand to slap her and the other one to pull the covers off her. Before she could even react he climbed on top of her.

He stopped only long enough to reach under her nightgown and yank her panties' crotch out of his way, before he brutally thrust inside her. "NO!" Miriam screamed feeling herself being torn open. "NO!" She screamed again trying to negate the horror that was happening to her!

Brian pinched her breasts, and continued his violent assault! "Shut up BITCH! You're my fuckin' wife, my whore so you fuckin' take it, take it BITCH!" He grunted with each thrust, his breathing becoming more labored... In his mind he saw Jenny, her beautiful face, her luscious body...and as he neared his release a grin broke out on his lips, "Baby...I'm almost there...oh...Jen..."

Miriam's horror was all consuming. Her mind could not grasp this new degradation that was being bestowed upon her at the hands of her own husband. His thrusts were violent, tearing her inside, his fingers pinched, and grasped with force until she thought she would faint from the pain. She could barely hear his words. "Please...NO!"

Finally with one last thrust Brian exploded inside her! He lay heavily on her, his breathing slowly returning to normal. "It's going to be a long night for you, little Miriam! You are mine! I'll make sure you fucking never forget it!"

Miriam knew at that moment that her horror had just begun...

CHAPTER 1

2008-11-02T01:23:00.000-04:00

Five years later

"Oh, for crying out loud Miriam, why don't you just talk to the guy!"

"I think she just prefers to sit there drooling!"

Miriam ignored the jokes and laughter of her friends at her expense, she pretty much ignored everything else around her except that cute guy that had just walked in to the school lounge. They definitely did not have one of those back home, she thought!

She couldn't take her eyes off his face - his gorgeous features had her enthralled.

"Do you think his a freshman like us?" She heard Tina ask.

"He sure doesn't look like any freshman I've ever seen!" Peg answered, pushing back her brown hair to get a better look at the guy.

Miriam finally tore her eyes away from the gorgeous guy and turned to her friends. "Girls," she announced with a smile, "there goes my future husband!"

"When the hell is dinner going to be ready?" Brian's scream snapped Miriam back to the present. A present she wanted desperately to get away from forever. In the five years since the night when Jeremy walked out of her life, her features had grown quite haggard. Her skin no longer held it's youthful luster. Her memories were the only escape to the life she now had, the 'life' that had just asked her a question.

In a tired voice she responded. "In a few minutes, Brian, I'm almost done."

"Well, hurry up I'm starving!" He yelled as he walked back to the living room.

Miriam's eyes moistened with unshed tears, and in a soft whisper she repeated her daily mantra, "It's your fault Jeremy...you ruined my life..."

Ten minutes later they were all seated around the table, everyone eating quietly. There was an underlying tension in the air. Tension mixed with fear...apparent mainly by the slight tremors in Miriam's and Timmy's hands as they ate.

"When are you going to join the football team at your school?" Brian asked Timmy in a demanding voice.

Timmy replied shakily, "Sir, I don't like football."

That's all it took, and the explosion began. "What? What are you a pussy?! All boys like football!" Brian shouted in anger.

Miriam tried to defend Timmy, "Brian, please don't say that to him. Timmy's into academics, he joined the school mathematics team, yesterday!"

With lightning speed Brian got up from his seat, walked around the table and slapped Miriam across the face knocking her down. "You shut the fuck up! It's your fault for having a wimp for a son! Don't you fucking ever talk back to me again!" He stood over Miriam, while she cowered away, her soft cries barely audible.

Timmy sat stock still, his fear of his step-father paralyzing him. His eyes reflected the pain and helplessness he felt at seeing his mother like that. God, please make it stop, he prayed to himself.

Finally content that Miriam had been satisfactorily disciplined, Brian sat down again to continue his meal. Miriam stood slowly, trying unsuccessfully to wipe the trickle of blood from her split lip, and sat down again at the table.

After the first impact her face had gone numb, there was no pain only shock and shame... The pain would begin though, as soon as the shock wore off. Yes. This was her life now, she thought, and her mantra began.

*****

"Jenny! Over here!" Samantha yelled across the cafe' when she saw her friend walk in.

Jenny quickly made her way to the table and sat down with a sigh. "Oh, girl I'm beat! I hate unpacking! I hate moving period!

Samantha laughed at her friend's remark. "Girl, stop complaining! You know you're happy to have your own place again!"

"You're right! Samie I couldn't have done it without you, you know that right? Moving back to Crystal Springs was harder than leaving it. Thank-you for letting me crash on your couch, and for talking to your landlord for me. Although, I'm sure you did that to get your place all to yourself again!" Jenny added with a laugh.

"You better believe I'm happy about that!" replied Samantha, also with a laugh. "Well, spill it! What's the big news you couldn't wait until tonight to tell me?"

"Well, you know I had to transfer my RN certification to Crystal Springs, and now that I passed their exams...drum roll please... I got a job at the Women's Health Clinic! Set hours, great pay, so you know what that means?"

"PARTY TIME!" They both yelled in unison laughing at their own silliness.

Jenny looked at Samantha and asked her softly, "Samie, did he call?"

Samantha's smile faded as she replied, "Yes, his not able to come tonight. He has an office thing..."

"So go with him!"

"Jenny, I can't...he's not ready to introduce me yet to his partners..."

"Bullshit Samie!" Jenny interruped her. "How long is it going to take him to be ready? What the hell?! How long have you two been together now? Over five years for crying out loud!"

Samantha squirmed in her seat when she noticed a couple of people staring at them after Jenny's outburst. "Shit girl, lower your voice, I don't want everyone and their mama hearing my business!"

"That law firm is one of the most traditional and oldest firms in Crystal Springs! They expect certain things from their partners. He can't just spring me on them! Not if he wants to make partner, besides who says I want to meet those assholes anyways?!"

Jenny looked at Samantha's strained expression. She knew her friend was hurting because of that man, although she tried to hide it under a nonchalant attitude. "Why do you take it my friend? Why don't you break it off?"

Finally, Samantha's shuttered eyes, showed a glimpse of her pain as she answered, "Because I love him."

*****

Early the next morning Brian had just finished getting ready when he received a phone call. "McCoy, this is DiNozzo, we got a new case!"

"Damn DiNozzo, do you sleep at the office or what?"

"Fuck-you, McCoy, unlike you I don't keep banker's hours!"

"Rank has its privileges my son!" Brian responded laughing, then in a serious tone, "So what's the case?"

"We got a call from Dr. Carter over at the Women's Health Clinic. One of his patient's came in claiming she had been drugged by her boyfriend's brother, and raped. She is there right now so we need to go ASAP to talk to her!"

Brian quickly replied, "I'm leaving now. I'll swing by and pick you up on the way."

"Alright, I'll wait outside."

*****

Twenty minutes later Brian and DiNozzo arrived at the clinic. They made their way quickly inside. The first thing they saw when they opened the door, was a good size waiting area which was nicely decorated, and a couple of patients seating near a window.

When they approached the sign in counter, Brian was immediately taken aback by the looks of the beautiful nurse who greeted them. Her gorgeous eyes were hypnotic...

Her delicate demeanor was an instant turn on but what 'sealed the deal' in his mind was the independent glint in her eyes. That to Brian was an immediate challenge to tame her. Oh, yeah, he would most definitely love to tame this pretty little thing. He had been so caught up with his private fantasies that he missed her, "May I help you?". He turned his face slightly to regain some of his composure.

DiNozzo cleared his throat to hide his smile. He knew only too well what that look in his partner's eyes meant. "Thank-you Miss, I'm Detective DiNozzo and this is Detective McCoy, Dr. Carter is expecting us."

Jenny had been equally captivated by the man standing there in front of her. He had the tough guy look that she found most appealing. The fit of his suit paid tribute to his muscular frame. She could imagine running her hands over those muscles and feel his strength pressing down on her. The heat of her own thoughts almost made her miss Detective DiNozzo's reply.

Clearing her throat she said, "I'll go tell him you're here detectives." As she walked away, DiNozzo looked at Brian. "I know that look McCoy, at least wait until after we finish questioning the patient."

"Don't worry DiNozzo, I will!" Brian said with a wicked grin spreading his lips.

DiNozzo walked out of Dr. Carter's office with the required paperwork they needed to finalize the charges. He went to look for his partner, since Brian had left him soon after they had questioned the patient. He found him chatting up the pretty nurse that had so obviously caught his attention. Another one bites the dust, thought DiNozzo as he approached his partner with a knowing smile.

*****

Brian sat pensively by the pool later that night. He had obtained Jenny's phone number and they had talked for a while. He could tell at the clinic that she was as attracted to him as he was to her, but she wasn't going to be easy. He had hoped Jenny would accept his invitation to go out that night, but she had refused. She wanted to control the pace, he realized, and that made him smile.

Oh, he would let her control the pace, but in the end he would be the one in control. He wanted her and he was going to posses her.

*****

Miriam heard Brian get ready for bed and felt his weight as he sat on the bed. He had hit her again tonight, a quick punch...another black eye...nothing too serious. He was happy, she could feel his mirth. His found another one, she thought, another one to break....

PROLOGUE

2008-10-21T22:07:00.000-04:00

Miriam sat there looking up at her husband in stunned silence.

She knew he was still talking but she could barely make out his words.

All she heard was the roaring echo of her own questions tumbling in her mind.

This couldn't be happening! Eleven years! Eleven years of her life! Ending?! How could she have been so blind? How can anyone lie for so long?

"Miri please look at me. I'm so sorry I..."

Jeremy did not get a chance to finish because Miriam jumped suddenly out of the couch and threw herself at him.

She started pummeling his chest, slapping him repeatedly, and all the while she screamed at him through her tears.

"You son of a bitch! You bastard! How could you?! How could you do this to me, to our son?!!! How could you hurt me like this?!"

Jeremy did nothing to prevent the blows, he stood there accepting the punishment he felt he justly deserved.

Miriam grabbed him by the collar her hands throbbing from the punishing blows, but the pain barely register in her mind. She looked at him through her tears and asked again, "Why? You were my life! I gave you all my love, I held NOTHING back! Why would you hurt me like this?!" Jeremy could not answer, his chest constricted from seeing the pain edged so cruelly on her face.

Miriam let go of his collar and stepped back, giving him one last look of pained disbelieve. She turned her back to him and covered her face crying, her body shook with the force of her sobs.

"Timmy.... How am I going to tell our son? How?"

Jeremy stepped to her and tried to put his hand on her waist, tears rolling freely down his face. "Miri, I'm sorry..."

She spun around quickly and pushed him away. "SHUT UP! Don't ever call me that again! Get out! Leave this house now! You can forget about ever seeing Timmy again, I will make sure you NEVER see him again! GET OUT! GET OUT!!" She stood looking at him with hatred in her eyes. Her body vibrated with the pain and hatred caused by his betrayal.

Jeremy turned slowly and walked to the front door. His suitcase was already in the small foyer, before he picked it up he took one last look at what used to be his home, then walked out.

Miriam collapsed to the ground after she heard the front door close. She sobbed uncontrollably her world had just crumbled around her.... She had been unaware, she never suspected, and now it was too late. He had been her life...her world. Oh, God, how was she going to survive this?! She felt alone. Abandoned! Who would hold her and comfort her now?

On shaky legs she straightened herself up and walked slowly to their bedroom.

She stood looking down at the bed, then very slowly she lay on it.

She laid on his pillow, and inhaled.... His scent filled her with loving memories.

Her man was gone.... His side of the bed would stay empty. His caresses, the feel of his hands on her body.... His heated kisses, his firm body under her touch.... His face, his lips, gone...ALL GONE!

She lay there sobbing, her chest tightened in pain, because in her heart she knew...she knew she would always love this man.

*****

"What? The hell you say!"

"I raised you better than that! I raised you better!"

Frank stormed out of the dining room, slamming the front door on his way out.

Jeremy looked down at his mother, pain reflected in his eyes, couldn't his father understand? Could his mother?

His mother shook her head and lifted her tear filled eyes to ask, "Jeremy, how could you do this? How? This is not right, you have a wife, a son, you can't do this to them!"

"Miriam is a wonderful woman! How could you!"

Estelle began to cry earnestly. Jeremy crouched to get closer to her, and when he tried to touch her she flinched. "Mom.... Please....", but she didn't look at him. "My mind is made up, please try to understand. Please mom, you and dad need to accept my decision." But Estelle did not answer him, she just kept crying.

"I love you mom." Jeremy said softly before walking out.

*****

Jeremy stood looking at the door of the apartment. He knew he couldn't stand in the hallway forever, and even though he could barely lift his hand to ring the bell, he finally did.

The door opened and a woman stood in front of him. "I told them. I told them everything...."