CHAPTER 5

LATER THAT EVENING

Miriam closed the dresser drawer after she finished getting ready. Brian’s work was having their yearly awards dinner that evening, and all detectives and their spouses were expected to show. Jeremy’s phone call and his words weighed heavily on her mind. She had not told Brian for fear of ruining the good mood he'd been in lately. At that moment Brian walked in.

Miriam tried to cover her dread of Jeremy’s upcoming visit before she turned around and faced Brian. She had applied heavy make-up in an attempt to conceal the gauntness and paleness of her face. She smiled weakly before speaking to Brian, “I’m ready.”


Brian stopped in his tracks and crossed his arms, “Ready for what?! To go to the circus?” He burst out laughing.


Still laughing he spoke in a cruel voice, “Do you actually think I’m going to take you to the awards dinner looking like that?! I want to be seen with a real woman, not a walking corpse with clown make-up on!”


Brian turned around and as he walked out of the room he threw a final remark over his shoulder, “Stay home and clean, that’s about all your good for now.” His laughter drifted back to her as he left the house. Miriam covered her face in shame.


She felt ugly and stupid with the make-up, and the unflattering dress she had on. Once she had been beautiful…desired… Miriam’s memories took her back to a happier time, her first kiss with Jeremy…


“Come on Miri it’s not that high! There’s a cool hot tub up there we could just relax there and look at the view!” Jeremy had been trying for a few minutes to convince her to go to the top of the campus tower. She was a little scared of heights but his soothing voice was working wonders on her fear.


“I’ll race you,” yelled Jeremy before he took off running, Miriam close at his heels. She could never resist a challenge. They ran up the stairs laughing the whole way!


As soon as Miriam caught up to Jeremy at the top of the tower, he pulled her towards him and kissed her passionately. Their first kiss! Miriam forgot all about her fear of heights; Jeremy’s arms were her safe heaven. His delicious kiss robbed her of all restraint…this was her man…and she was his.

They took of their clothes quickly, and in their swimming suits they entered the hot tub. The soothing hot water caressed their already heated bodies. Jeremy put his arms around her and whispered softly in her ear, “You are so beautiful Miri…you take my breath away…”

His words, his touch made her feel desirable, and beautiful! Alone in the tower, surrounded by the tranquil night views of the campus, they gazed intently into each other’s eyes, and declared their feelings towards each other. “Miri, I love you...”

Miriam caressed his hand with her fingertip and as she looked passionately into his eyes she whispered to him, “I love you too, Jeremy…”

Jeremy smiled with happiness after hearing her words. He swung her around to face him so he could better take possession of her lips.

They stayed in each others arms, kissing and caressing each other, until the wee hours of the morning…

Miriam wiped away the tears that had escaped at the memory of that night, “Oh, Jeremy…you made me feel so beautiful… And now I’m only a ‘corpse in clown make-up’!” Questions echoed in her mind filling her with anger and apprehension. How was she going to face him tomorrow? Why couldn’t he stay away from her? Why did he leave…? She hated him! His betrayal had brought her to this point!


*****


NEXT MORNING

Brian decided to call Jenny before he left to work, “Sweetheart I’m sorry our date got ruined last night! When the job calls I have to answer. You looked so beautiful last night! You were the most gorgeous woman in the awards dinner, and every damn cop there new that! I’m going to pick you up today right after you get off work…”

Jenny’s voice sounded a little strained as she interrupted him, “I can’t today darling, I have to work two shifts, but I’ll see you tomorrow…” As Jenny continued to speak Brian’s expression grew more serious. He sensed Jenny was not telling him the whole truth.

After they hung up, Brian stood grasping the receiver in frustration and anger. Doubts began to assail him as he asked himself, “Is she seeing someone else? Why did she lie?” She had seemed a little distant last night; he had sensed she was hiding something. She never spoke about her past and he had never minded until now! Jealousy and anger took control of him making his body shake with its intensity. He left the room in search of an outlet to his mounting fury!

*****

“Jenny! Where are you?” Sammie yelled out as soon as she walked into Jenny’s apartment.

“I’m out here Sammie,” responded Jenny from her small patio.

She turned towards her friend as soon as Sammie stepped out. One look at Sammie’s pajamas and she started to giggle, “What the hell? You started practicing already?”

“Hell yeah, I am!! JAPAN baby! You here me, I’m going to Japan!!” Exclaimed Sammie excitedly.

“Jenny, I’m so ecstatic I can barely sit still! I'm in a daze…”

Jenny interrupted her jokingly, “Well, damn girl, sit your ass down before you fall off my balcony! I don’t want you with a broken leg before your wedding! What kind of maid of honor would that make me?”

“Oh, girl can you believe this? I’m getting married! My heart hasn’t stopped racing since he proposed!” Jenny smiled at seeing the look of pure joy on her friend’s face.

"Well stop swinging that freaking rock around, it's blinding me!" She teased her before continuing in a more serious tone.

“I’m glad he finally got some sense into him, and realized what a marvelous woman you are! I hate that you’re moving so far away Sammie, but I’m so happy for you!” Jenny looked at her friend tenderly wishing with all her heart that Sammie’s every dream would come true with this man.

Sammie replied seriously, “You opened my eyes with your words the other night. You were right I did let his parents’ and his old firm’s prejudice fill me with self-doubts… They were too set in their ignorant ways to understand interracial relationships.”

“I was ready to leave him that night, and that was the night he proposed! Isn't that shit funny?" She laughed and continue speaking without waiting for a resonse, "I had no idea that all those trips he had been taking lately were for the new job in Japan! His proposal that night blew me away! And I’m still flying! He is tired of waiting for his family to accept us, he just has to take care of one more thing today, and all that will be over. We’ll be able to start our lives together! A new beginning in Japan!”

Jenny looked at Sammie and smiled, “I’m really very happy for you girl! You deserve all the happiness in the world! You were there for me through the most painful moments in my life…I’ll always be here for you Sammie, I hope you know that!”

“I know Jenny...you are my best friend girl, you have been there for me also! Enough about me, I came over for you! Are you still going today?” Sammie asked as she looked intently into her friend’s eyes.

Jenny took a deep breath before she responded, “Yes, I am. I have to face my demons once and for all, Sammie. I love Brian with all my heart but as long as my past still has this hold on me I can’t completely enjoy my relationship with him.”

Sammie asked her softly, “Did you tell him yet?”

Jenny straightened up in her seat in agitation, “I can’t! I’m scared Sammie… I don't want to loose him, I love him too much!”

She sat back before continuing, “He called earlier and I told him I had to work two shifts today. Things are getting very serious between us, I really think he will ask me to marry him... I don’t want to ruin what we have… I can’t handle that right now, not when I’m going to be loosing you to Japan!”

“You are not loosing me! Things are going to work out you'll see! You deserve to be happy just as much as I do! Come on, get your ass up and give me a hug you stupid girl!” Sammie added jokingly.

Both friends hugged each other tenderly, “Everything is going to be okay Jenny, trust me!”

“I hope so Sammie…I really hope so…”

*****

Miriam was talking to Timmy before he left to school, unaware of the pent up anger barreling towards her.

Brian smacked Timmy on the head as he yelled, “What the #%&# are you still doing here you little shit, get your ass to school now!"

Miriam tried to pull him away from Timmy exclaiming at the same time, “Don’t touch him!” Brian hit her hard on the chest to push her off him.

And in rapid succession he punched her face with such force that it snapped her head back causing her to loose her balance.

Even with his head throbbing and fear surging through his body, Timmy quickly reached out to try and stop Miriam from falling, “Mom!”

“You #%&# idiots, you both are worth nothing!” Brian hissed down at them. He felt better now that he had let off some steam.

Without a backward glance he turned around, his mind only on Jenny. “I’ll find out your truth Jenny!” He thought with confidence as he walked out.

“I’m okay Timmy,” Miriam said weakly as Timmy helped her up.

They held each other without words, tears rolling down both of their faces...consoling each other with that embrace.

After Timmy left for school, Miriam stood looking at herself in the mirror. Her cheek already darkening and swelling with a bruise, she knew she would not be able to hide it from Jeremy. She prayed silently that he wouldn't show up…


*****


LATER THAT AFTERNOON

Miriam’s apprehension grew as the hours ticked by slowly. Timmy was due home in another 30 minutes, the ring of the phone startled her but at the same time it gave her a glimmer of hope that it would be Jeremy to tell her he was not coming over after all. “Hello?” She answered with a trembling voice.

“I’m outside Miri, open the door.” Jeremy’s determined command destroyed all her hopes.

The doorbell rang at the same time that Jeremy hung up. Miriam slowly put down the receiver.

She walked to the door feeling like a condemned person walking to their execution. Anger, hurt, and shame invading her at the same time…

“Jeremy?!” She said painfully and in confusion after she opened the door and saw the person standing there.

“Hello Miri, I go by Jenny now…”